To My Future Wife

Photo on 3-11-12 at 9.36 PM #2How’s it lookin, good-lookin?

I don’t know who you are yet.  I don’t know what you look like.  I don’t know the color of your eyes.  I don’t know the color of your skin.  I don’t know your name.  There are a lot of things that I don’t know about you, but there are a couple of things that I want you to know.

You’re Already Beautiful.  Congratulations, babe, you did it.  You are already beautiful.  Seriously.  If beauty is a game, you’re a pro.  You are perfect already.  You were beautifully and wonderfully made.  You have nothing to fix.  Let me say that again, you have nothing to fix.  God did not mess-up on you.  I know what society is telling you.  “You have to look like this, wear this, and have this in order to be beautiful.” Nope.  You’re already beautiful.  Beauty is more than what you put on in the morning.  You don’t need to lose weight to be beautiful.  You don’t need to pack on the make-up to be beautiful.  You don’t need to have all the curves installed to be beautiful.  You don’t need to have perfect skin to be beautiful.  You don’t need to act a certain way to be beautiful.  You don’t need to wear certain clothes to be beautiful and you definitely don’t need to take them off to be beautiful.  Oh, and you don’t need to have sex with me to be beautiful.    You’re already beautiful.  Feel free to grow to be a better, healthier, more confident you.  In fact, I encourage it.  But let me remind you that when it comes to being beautiful, you already won.   You are beautifully and wonderfully made.

Babe, keep your goodies in your basket.  I get it.  I really do.  When you have a nice car you want to show it off.  If you have a nice body, likewise, you want to show it off.  But, what makes a Lamborghini stand out from a Honda Civic?  I see Civics all the time.  Everywhere I go there is one of those bad boys sitting in the parking lot.  I can count on one hand every Lamborghini I’ve ever seen.  It is always exciting to see one of those.  The Honda, not so much.  Don’t get me wrong, your goodies are always going to be good.  I’ll say that again, your goodies are always going to be good.  But, if everyone and my mom has a look at everything you’re showing off, I’m not feeling like as much of a lucky ducky.  So please, for me, keep your goodies packaged away.       

You’re a princess worth fighting for.  I said “princess.”  You know, the princess you always wanted to be as a little girl?  Yep, that’s you!  But here is the deal, if you are a princess, you have to act like a princess.  The story goes something like, “The princess waits high up in her castle waiting to be rescued by her Prince Charming (thats me).  This ‘prince’ has to cross the treacherous lands, fight all the battles, storm the castle, slay the dragon and THEN he gets the princess.”

It’s a pretty cool story, really.  Prince Charming doesn’t just walk up to the castle doors, spit a little game, and off they go to happy ever after.  You’re a PRINCESS.  You’re worthy of a fight.  If you give yourself to someone who isn’t willing to fight for you, he isn’t worthy to be with you.  Your prince charming isn’t going to fight to take your purity, he is going to fight to protect it.

Don’t settle for me, make me go to work.  Don’t let me sweep you off your feet without putting in any work.  Remember, I have to “cross treacherous lands, fight all the battles, storm the castle, slay the dragon and THEN,” I get the princess.  Make me go to work.  Don’t let me have you easy.  You deserve a gentlemen.  You deserve chivalry.  Do not settle.  There are going to be a lot of guys who come through who might look like me, they might be dressed like me, and they might talk like me, but if they don’t put in the work like me, they don’t deserve you like me.  I am out here waiting for you, don’t settle for someone who doesn’t deserve you.  Don’t settle.

Our fairy tale will happen, but remember it doesn’t go from ‘once upon a time’ to ‘happy ever after.’  There is a battle that goes on in those middle chapters.  Sometimes I am going to mess up.  Sometimes you are going to mess up.  I am going to say things I don’t mean and mean things I don’t say.  Sometimes I will forget that you are a princess and sometimes I will get distracted. But, together, through love, patience, communication, and the grace of God, we are going to win.

I understand I might have written this a little late, but I don’t care who you were yesterday, I care who you are today and who you will be tomorrow.  Make a change if you need to.  Let us grow together.  It is not too late.  It doesn’t matter what you’ve done or how many of these items you have missed, it just matters what you are going to do now!  You are beautifully and wonderfully made by the hands of a perfect Creator, live like it!

~Prince Charming~

Add me on Facebook here

I’m so thankful for all the encouragement I have received from everybody!  I never knew this letter would get so much support and I am encouraged by all of you men and women out there!  Also, I am thankful for some of the critique I have received from both men and women around the world.  It is always a blessing to hear another’s perspective and I am thankful people felt the freedom to stand up and call me out on some of my beliefs.

You guys are awesome, thank you so much!

Posted on February 4, 2014, in Love, Me and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1,434 Comments.

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  8. Brett, just came across this post and wanting to thank you. It’s so hard to find men like yourself these days who desire a Godly, pure woman and also display the same characteristics in their own life. This is very refreshing and uplifting. Thank you!

  9. Brett, as a single girl waiting and praying for a Godly man, I cannot thank you enough for this post. It is truly refreshing and encouraging to see young men crave the things of God in their lives and in their relationships. Godliness is so hard to find these days. God will bless you for it. Thank you for writing this. I know your future wife will appreciate your words.

    God Bless,


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  23. Thanks. I’m proud of my kids. All intelligent, capable, funny and independent people

  24. Out of curiosity, have you heard of the concept of second purity? The point of purity culture isn’t that virginity and eternal abstinence determine value. It’s about loving yourself and your future spouse enough NOW to wait to have those intimate experiences with them. I am sorry if you had a negative experience with purity culture that made you feel ostracized or incriminated, especially if the offending party was Christian. Sometimes in the pursuit of details we forget that the greatest good we can do anyone is to love them as we love ourselves.

  25. I agree with you completely. Ignore the silliness. A lot of these people don’t think things through.

  26. Please give us some sources for your information that purity causes people to be sexually dysfunctional and have psychological problems or stay in abusive relationships. I’d like to know just what research YOU have done and what the sources are. I would also like to see the study that shows that people who have many sexual partners do not tend to stay in abusive relationships.
    I shall read your facebook page, but I certainly hope I will not be disappointed. Surely you have not posted anecdotes there!

  27. From my reasearch (which involves my local women’s shelter) women that stay in abusive relationships stay because they are mentally abused which leads them to think that it’s their fault the guy they’re with abuses them and most times has nothing to do with sex. I’m not saying that’s every case but it’s the majority. As someone who believes in purity I’m actually slightly offended that you think so little of it. This post is to teach girls no matter what that you don’t need to have sex in order to have someone love you. You don’t need to be perfect to have someone love you and even if you don’t believe in God as he does he just wants you to know that from any respectable guy’s perspective what you look like is not as important as what you put out there. I’ve learned that I don’t need to show people my body in order for them to be interested guys that are worth showing your body to don’t want the rest of the world to know what it looks like. What’s the point in opening a present if you already know what it is. As for the princess comment I don’t know any girl that wouldn’t want to be treated as if she were the best thing that’s ever happened to the world. I wish there were more guys like this that expressed how they feel because there are more guys out there that feel this way than you think. Every girl deserves a Prince charming no matter what they’ve done in the past.

  28. First I looked at the facebook page. Nothing but anecdotes and blogs there. Not a shred of scientific evidence, research, studies or anything resembling an academic approach. Then I googled the phrases you suggested. Again, lots of blogs and a few opinion pieces in some publications. The only “professional” papers listed in the google list didn’t really have to do with the “purity movement.” By your own admission “very little scientific study has been done in this area so far.”
    Which means that there is absolutely no basis for your assertion that “this purity bs often…leads to sexual dysfunction and other psychological problems, and can cause people to stay in dangerous or abusive situations.” That is nothing more than your opinion and you are free to express it. But what you have done is not called research. It’s called reading. You’ve read the blogs and opinions of others who happen to agree with your viewpoint. But there is nothing scientific about that. So it’s pretty arrogant of you to call the opinions of those who believe in purity, “bs.”

  29. Dear butimnotcute:
    Seems like you are using this comment page to grandstand and spout your ridiculous bs. The fact that most of these comments are from you and you can’t seem to stop talking about yourself or your point of view shows what a self absorbed Asshole you are… pipe down already, nobody cares about what you think

  30. sexism. it’s everywhere

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